Review: Blood Bowl

What does a zombie know about glory?

What can a zombie teach us about glory?

Game: Blood Bowl: Legendary Edition
Developed by: Cyanide
Published by: Focus Home Interactive
Release date: October 22, 2009

Alright, enough of this dry bookish crap. Lets crack some skulls eh gents.

“Why can’t anyone ever summon me a Balrog?” Thought Lahkasz as he surveyed the pitiful Undead army his obedient Necromancer had raised. He looked into the man’s pale eyes, entirely devoid of expression or sanity. The thought of having to use this savant halfwit as the teams assistant coach made him endlessly exhausted. The man’s lips appeared to go slightly more vapid as if in answer to his disparaging thoughts. “Perhaps I should have held off on the lobotomy.” ┬áHe thought ruefully. He turned to his new team.

“My but aren’t you all a sad sack of sluggardly crumbling marrow. If I had a choice I’d dig you back into the ground that spewed up your repugnant slothly forms. You’re not a Bloodbowl team, you’re a disgrace to a sport built on the blood and death of it’s combatants. Look at you, there’s not a pint of blood between you!”

The Undead remained silent. One particularly obnoxious skeleton chose this moment to have his leg detach from his body. In an abandonment of balance Lahkasz’ starting kicker was reduced from a mindless structure of bone and rotten flesh held together by dark magic into a foot high heap of bone and rotten flesh held together by precisely nothing, the dark magic that bound him deciding that its animatory talents were required elsewhere. His necromancer whimpered.

“Completely devoid of thought, like putrid clay in the hands of a tactical genius.” thought Lahkasz. “Perfect.”

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